You thought they lived life. Really lived. Bold. Free. Unafraid. You know, unlike you.
Now you realize that this was a lie you told yourself.
You are the strong one. You are the one strong enough to walk away. Strong enough to be alone year after year, and God knows how hard that is. You sacrifice yourself for others, but only to a point. Maybe that makes you selfish. You’re not sure.
You are sure that staying where love has gone is not for you. Been there, done that.. Lesson learned. You should have left sooner.
But you can’t make someone choose you. Especially when they can’t even choose themselves.
He loves you but he’s afraid. And he doesn’t love you enough to choose you. He never chooses you. You remind yourself of this almost daily.
He never chooses you.
You can’t continue to try to be a part of their life. It’s hurting your heart. You can tell yourself that you are their friend… you can try to emotionally distance yourself.
But you love him, and you have since that day you met oh so long ago. You were supposed to be together. You both knew it. You know it.
You still want it. You can lie to others but not to yourself.
How do you kill that feeling? That hope?
He’s weak. He’s selfish because he still wants to hang on to you, even in these small ways.
You are the strong one
You could walk away. You probably should.
But you won’t.
You’ll just let go… just a little bit. Just enough to try to ease the hurt. Just enough to go about the business of living. To try to move on.
Try to believe that it’s possible to be happy. To feel something anywhere near what you felt back then.
What you do know is that you have to start dating again. You have to give someone a chance to truly love you. You have to close the door on this and give your whole heart to the one who does choose you. They will deserve this.
So do you.
You’re the strong one. You always have been. You just see it now.