There are times where I sit at my computer or before a blank piece of paper to write something and nothing happens. My mind draws a blank. I come up empty. After a half hour of letting my mind wander from here to nowhere, I give up and return to doing what I was before.
When that happens I feel disappointed. I walk around the house wondering why my life is not more interesting. I go to the fridge, open the door, and ask the milk and juice cartons why I’m not like the Instagram or Facebook A-listers who jet-set to Thailand, Timbuktu, or Tokyo to post photos of themselves at ancient temples, eating deep-fried crickets bought from a street vendor, while thumb-upping standing next to a world-class martial arts trainer who doubles as a world-class chef at a restaurant recently opened in the Mongolian desert. (I know, right?)
While I make myself a cup of tea, I sigh and ponder: “Face it. You’re not glam. What have you done that’s so interesting that you have to share with the world?”
Most of the time I come up empty. My life is not glam, I admit. I’m stuck learning and memorizing 240 real estate terms for an exam I should have taken in January but keep postponing because there’s just so much to remember. When you’re a man of a certain age, things don’t come as easily as they used to, and the paper trail of Post-it notes reminding me to keep track of, or do something, keeps getting longer and longer.
When the tea’s ready, I sit outside and contemplate a garden that has more weeds than actual grass and a few remaining trees struggling to stay alive. Not glam at all, I think. Nothing to share.
I turn my gaze to the small ceramic pot that sits in the corner of the room, and there I find what’s left of an old, forgotten Palm one of my best friends Syd gave me months ago. At one time, the plant was full of leaves that delighted everyone who saw it. But over time, the plant withered and wilted and now looks more like an ancient stump of wood someone stuck in the planter as if making a poor joke. Over time, the plant has rotted from the inside out, and now has a hole on the center from which you can see insects and ants that have chosen to make a home for themselves in the plant’s interior walls.
For some unknown reason, the half of the plant that is still alive hangs on and sprouts leaves. At other times, it is just a stump giving no indication that life remains within. Every time I’m ready to give up the plant for dead and want to toss it out with the garbage, I notice a new leaf breaking free from the old bark and a few days later the plant is green again. It’s a game we play, I guess, or one the plant plays with me. I fall for the joke every time.
This morning, I woke up with every intention to write something clever for the blog. I was ready to sit down and write about how we had to cut and dig a hole in the living room to access a plumbing pipe that had rotted and was backing up sewage; or how another set of best friends are looking to move far away and I still feel stuck here in Chicago…. You know the usual.
But when I sat at my computer, I drew a blank. Every sentence I wrote lacked cadence and gravity. No two words I put next to each other made sense. So before I spent the next half-hour berating myself, I decided to walk to the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea so I could drink it outside.
When I turned to the potted stump, I noticed a brand new Palm stemming from the base of the living part of the plant. A pretty little thing it was!. I had to smile and thank the stump for it’s latest joke.
Neither I nor the half-dead plant are glam. In fact, most people would take a look and dismiss us as they walk by and past us. Fewer still would give us a second glance. But anyone with enough patience, or anticipating a good joke, would sit idly by, enjoy a nice cup of tea, and wait for the right moment for us to make our move. I guess I don’t have to be an A-lister, a jet-setter, or a celebrity to make a statement. I only have to wait for the right moment, and the right person, to show my real colors to and make an ordinary moment a memorable one.